Future Crimes


No longer leonine or otherworldly, simply another schtick puppet jiggling through his own schtick in the schtick zoo for the amusement of people on trains who are too afraid of their own thoughts to look out the window. That’s not the Morrissey we want. But it’s the Morrissey that Twitter has in store for us. (Vice, May 2014)

(As of January 2021, he has not engaged on Twitter)


Morrissey has yet to be implicated in the post-Weinstein reckoning. (Overland Literary Journal, November 2017)

(As of January 2021, no accusations have been made)


Morrissey In Satanic Baby Record Sleeve Shocker… (he’s) been painted as a few unpleasant things in his time – Nazi, control freak, skinhead-appeaser, reggae-hater, sanctimonious vegetarian… More disturbing, though, is the baby that he’s holding. Whose is it, for a start? Ponder that, and look at the baby’s forehead… what on earth are those lumps and bumps, arranged in a suspicious pattern?  Might not they be a pentagram carved into the poor mite’s perplexed noggin? (The Quietus, December 2008)*

(As of January 2021, the child is unharmed)

*Although The Quietus say they’re ‘joshing’ – insinuating that there’s something disturbing and suspicious about a gay man (as they label him in a later article) holding a child, taps into a very ugly stereotype, and the joke doesn’t have any other target. Their self-declared anti-fascism has a serious blind-spot.